He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
