Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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