operation have a gay friend backfired
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
