im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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