no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
