The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize