Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
