I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
