turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
