fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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