I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
