She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
