I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
