Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
