It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
