do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize