my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
