I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
