I wannas sexs uuuuu
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
