Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
