Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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