there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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