Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
