Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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