are you still at the devil's house?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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