The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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