then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
its liver damage thursday
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
