just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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