Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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