I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize