I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
