hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
