he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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