super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
