At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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