Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
