Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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