oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My life is pants optional.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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