I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
