Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
