I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
