you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
