Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
