so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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