i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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