We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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