yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
