So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
