I will die if light touches me.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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