i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
