I looked at my own cervix.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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