Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
And then he peed in my hair
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