Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
