He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
