While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
