my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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