i don't like sucking hair
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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