Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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