I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Someone signed my nipple.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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