i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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