I think my vagina is haunted
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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