An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
