I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Is Oprah even human
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
