i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
