I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
