last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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