Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?

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(740): View more from Ohio

at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!

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(585): View more from New York

Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.

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(315): View more from New York

Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.

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(253): View more from Washington

I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.

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(260): View more from Indiana

It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.

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(317): View more from Indiana

having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween

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(817): View more from Texas

I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.

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