but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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